'Til There Was You Read online

  “‘Til There Was You”

  Jerry Cole

  © 2020

  Jerry Cole

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This book is intended for Adults (ages 18+) only. The contents may be offensive to some readers. It may contain graphic language, explicit sexual content, and adult situations. May contain scenes of unprotected sex. Please do not read this book if you are offended by content as mentioned above or if you are under the age of 18.

  Please educate yourself on safe sex practices before making potentially life-changing decisions about sex in real life. If you’re not sure where to start, see here: http://www.jerrycoleauthor.com/safe-sex-resources/.

  This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Products or brand names mentioned are trademarks of their respective holders or companies. The cover uses licensed images and are shown for illustrative purposes only. Any person(s) that may be depicted on the cover are simply models.

  Edition v1.00 (2020.12.19)

  http://www.jerrycoleauthor.com

  Special thanks to the following volunteer readers who helped with proofreading: RB, Big Kidd, Naomi W., Blue Savannah, and those who assisted but wished to be anonymous. Thank you so much for your support.

  Interested in FREE Gay Romance Books?

  Thank you for downloading my book. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. Without readers like you, I wouldn’t be able to do what I love. As my way of giving back, I started the Jerry Cole Reader Club & you are invited to join.

  Benefits Include:

  10+ Free M/M romance books

  Updates on my latest releases

  Discounts on new release ebooks at launch (up to 65% off retail!)

  It’s also your chance to connect with me. No spam, I promise! Membership is free. No obligation to buy anything & unsubscribe anytime. You will receive your free eBooks immediately after subscribing, sent via email.

  Click Here to Download Your Free eBooks!

  Download your free books today!

  Table of Content

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter One

  Austin Janssen-Dirk sat at the very back of the movie theater, at the furthest corner from the screen, with baseball cap pulled down over his scruffy blond hair to cover his face, hoodie flipped up to cover anything else that might be showing, and his narrow shoulders hunched forward and body slouched down as far as it would go like he was trying to hide... and that’s because he was trying to hide.

  He had no idea what movie was playing. He had no idea which number theater he was in. Heck, he had to double think just to remember which cinema he was even at. The entire afternoon had been a blur, a gut-punching, heart-tearing, soul-crushing, will-destroying blur. And now that he was settled down for what would probably be a good two hours, he knew it would only get worse. Oh, what a terrible day!

  “But how can you claim to love me when you can’t even love yourself?” the female character in the film asked emphatically. The orchestral music dropped behind her, emphasizing the question.

  “Because I just can,” the male character answered with equal resolve as the music then began to lift.

  Of course it was a rom com! Again, Austin had no idea what movie he was seeing, he’d just bought a ticket to anything and walked right in like a zombie sniffing out brains... or more like a stalker, hot on the heels of his target. But that was only because that’s exactly what he was.

  From his perch at the very back of the theater, Austin’s view was perfect. Just five rows down, and two seats across sat two men, side-by-side, hands entangled in one another’s, heads pressed together as they whispered and chuckled and nibbled and did all manner of things that made Austin’s heart feel like it was the ball in a high-octane soccer match in which both teams were taking great pleasure in kicking and beating the darn thing as hard as they could. He clutched at his chest and wished the thing would just burst so it would all be over.

  Of the two men, the one on the left had most of Austin’s attention. Even in the darkness, Austin could make out the perfect contours of his face... that dimple in his chin... those high-cheek bones... the nose that was a little too long but somehow seemed to suit him perfectly. And yes, he was balding slightly... but that only made him seem more confident, more sure of himself! Even from this far back, Austin could smell him, that musk, that transcendent odor that reminded him of the way the city smelled after a storm. Even from this far back, Austin knew that he still loved him, despite the current circumstance.

  His name was Freddy Griffin, and he was Austin’s ex-boyfriend... kind of. The two had met three months previously on Datematch in what was meant to be a one-night stand. Austin had matched with him, the two had chatted for roughly an hour, and before Austin knew what was what, he was being invited over for an afternoon of what Freddy had promised to be mind-blowing sex.

  The whole thing was so unlike Austin too. He had always been more of a traditionalist, the kind of guy that liked to go on dates, to romance, to slowly build up a relationship before diving right into the sack. And even once the sex happened, he was all about the after. He loved to cuddle. He loved the idea of having breakfast together the next day, and then dinner, and then breakfast again. He was a relationship guy and always had been. So, this random sexual encounter was about as out of the ordinary as things got for Austin.

  The sex had been supreme, and what happened after was even more so. He and Freddy had spent the night spooning. The next day they had gone for breakfast. Then they’d spent the day making love, more spooning, talking and laughing and giggling and basking in one another’s company. It had been transcendent and beautiful and perfect and by the time the second day was over, Austin knew that he was in love.

  And Freddy had been in love too. At least Austin had assumed so. For the next two months, he and Freddy were the perfect couple. They spent nearly every day and night together. And when they weren’t together, they were texting, or tagging, or any number of ways to stay in contact. Man, it was perfect and Austin hoped it would never end.

  But then Freddy had “the conversation.”

  “We need to talk.” Freddy had come over that night as he always did, at the exact same time, just as Austin was getting ready to order dinner. The only real difference was that he wasn’t dressed to spend the night.

  “Oh...” Austin had started. He was busy scrol
ling through a takeout app, so it had taken a few minutes for him to realize what was going on. When he had glanced up and seen the way Freddy was looking at him, he’d known something was wrong.

  “Austin,” Freddy had said with a steely gaze fixed on him. “We need to talk.”

  That was when Austin sat up. That was when Austin stopped scrolling. That was when Austin realized that something truly terrible was going to go down.

  Even now, two weeks later as Austin sat in that theater watching Freddy canoodle with another man, memories of that night sent sharp stabbing pains through his entire body. Everything had been going so well! Two months of pure bliss! No fights. No arguments. No indications that anything was wrong... and then it was over. Freddy ended it, gave him a hug as a thank you, and walked out the front door like it was nothing.

  But it wasn’t nothing! It was everything! And Austin needed to let Freddy know that. He’d spent the rest of that night and the next day trying to get in contact with Freddy. When that didn’t work, he staged a ‘bump in’ which went terribly. He then tried to find him on Datematch again, then tried to bait him with sexy photos on Instagram, or photos of him with other men – photoshopped – like that might be enough to remind Freddy what he was missing. But none of it worked.

  It was two weeks of sadness the likes of which Austin had never known before he finally started to get over Freddy. Truly, he had! But then he made the mistake of opening Freddy’s story on Instagram. There, Freddy had tagged himself at dinner, along with the elbow of another man in the top corner. He was on date! He was on a date and bragging about it! Austin had to see who with.

  He hadn’t meant to stalk him all the way to the movie theater either. Honestly, he hadn’t! The intent had been to go to the restaurant, catch a glimpse of the guy that had replaced him, confirm that he was a hideous beastly mess, and then bail. Obviously, that hadn’t happened.

  Austin hated to admit it, it fucking killed him, but the guy that Freddy was on a date with was hot... like really, really fucking hot. Firstly, he was built like a damn cover model. Secondly, he was dressed like a movie star. And thirdly, Austin had followed him into the bathroom and snuck a peek at what he was working with. The result was more than Austin could bare. The only reprieve that Austin could glean was that maybe his personality was a dud. That was why he had stuck around for so long.

  Freddy wasn’t even into those kinds of guys either! So, what the heck was he doing with this one? Usually, Freddy liked twinks, just like Austin. Austin was the perfect twink too! He was tall and skinny, with little actual muscle on him. His skin was bone white and soft as a baby’s bottom, while his face was angular, with blue eyes that popped, angelic blond hair, and a look that was often described as “pretty” rather than masculine. And sure, in his current shabby, dirty, having not bathed for a week straight state, Austin was a little down on his usual charm. But ordinarily he was Freddy’s dream boy... until he wasn’t.

  The next two hours were spent in perpetual misery as Austin remained at the back of that theater, watching his beloved ex-Freddy and his troglodytic slam-piece fawn over one another. Time and time again he told himself to stand and walk away... but he just couldn’t do it.

  Despite what Austin was witnessing before his very eyes, he was still convinced that he stood a chance with Freddy. Honestly, he could barely even remember the reason that Freddy had ended it. He tried to piece that conversation back together, but it was all a blur. Realistically, it was just some silly nonsense that Freddy would get over soon. Austin would just have to wait.

  And wait he did. When the movie ended, Austin remained in his seat, head down and looking away as Freddy and his baboon partner waltzed on by, hands entangled in one another's. He then snuck out behind them, keeping his distancer as they exited the cinema. And then, despite himself, he followed them some more... and some more... and some more, all the way to Freddy’s apartment.

  What the heck was he doing?! It was a question that could be applied to both Austin and Freddy. As to Austin... he had no idea. He stood on the side of the road, staring up at the window he knew to be Freddy’s bedroom. It was dark by now, so he could stand out openly, watching as the light flicked on inside and the outlines of the two men walked to and fro.

  And as to what Freddy was doing? Another minute of standing and watching painted a pretty clear picture for Austin. He and his new man moved into one another like hyena’s fighting over a carcass. Their bodies interloped and became one. Limbs went everywhere. A lamp tipped over –Austin's favorite lamp, FYI. And then they were gone... or laying down... or moving into another room. Or... or... or... regardless of what they were doing, they were together and having a very, very good time.

  Austin would be embarrassed to admit to himself just how long he stood on the side of the road for, staring up at that apartment window. Five minutes? Twenty? An hour? Really, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Austin’s life was over. His heart was broken, his self-esteem was shattered, and neither would be repaired any time soon. If it weren’t for the fact that it was physically impossible to do so, he would have happily sunk into the ground right then and there, never to return. One could only dream.

  Chapter Two

  “... it’s Connor. Like Jim Connor, but without the E-2000 trying to kill me.” Finn chuckled nervously as his perfect Exterminator 2 reference fell flat. “I used to joke that Jim Connor was my second cousin or... or something.”

  “I’m sorry, the E-2000?” Finn’s round-faced date, Anthony, scrunched his brow in apparent confusion. “I don’t know what that is?” He indicated for Finn to explain himself further.

  "It’s from Exterminator 2,” Finn explained. Anthony blinked stupidly. “Surely... you’ve seen Exterminator 2?”

  “Can’t say I have. I’m not really into film – Oh, but theater! I die for theater. I forget, did I tell you about New York last year – tell me I told you about Broadway!” Anthony’s pudgy face swelled with excitement as Finn shook his head. The man looked ready to explode. “Oh! I have to tell you! It was July last year – I remember it being July, because it was as hot as the Devil’s asshole. I swear to God, I went through three pairs of...”

  The date had been going for exactly two minutes and thirty-five seconds, and already, Finn was pretty damn certain that it was going to be a dud.

  It started when Finn first spotted Anthony... or at least he thought he did. They were meeting for drinks at a small speakeasy called Button Bar. It had a saloon like feel to it that reminded Finn of something you might see in an old Western. It was perfect for first dates and almost never missed. Almost.

  The short and simple of it was that Anthony just didn’t look like his pictures on Datematch. The Anthony that Finn had matched with looked like he’d spent his entire life, from birth to right now, doing nothing but sit-ups and pull-ups all day long. He’d also looked cool. And interesting. And unique. And like a good time. And like someone that Finn might actually connect with. So, Finn asked him out without hesitation.

  That was just how Finn was too. He hated small talk, especially on dating apps. If he matched with someone that he liked the look of, he’d just ask them straight to a drink. They almost always said yes... and even more often than that, truthfully. And then Finn could get to know them in person, off the app. If they didn’t vibe, so be it. At least he’d have someone good to look at, and quite possibly make a few bad decisions with.

  But for that to have been the case, they had to actually look like their profiles. It was safe to say that Anthony failed in this department. And then some! First of all, he was shorter than he had made himself out to be; no taller than five foot five. Second, he was pudgy. Maybe even fat? Those photos had to have been at least a year old, and in very good lighting. What the fuck was this guy thinking? And finally, and this was a big one, the guy didn’t watch movies!

  “Oh wow!” Finn gasped as Anthony finished up his story about New York and Broadway and a host of other things that Finn ju
st honestly wasn’t that in to. “That’s a wild story.”

  “Isn’t it?!” Anthony smiled fiendishly as he sipped at his Espresso Martini – paid for by Finn. Anthony was here before Finn too, yet he had literally waited for Finn to arrive just so he could buy him a drink. What a move. “So. Tell me about your tattoos. I love tattoos,” Anthony then purred as he took another sip, all the while staring right into Finn’s eyes.

  “Oh. Right.” Finn had forgotten about his tattoos. Or at least the ones that were showing. Ordinarily he loved telling people about them too... but he got the sense that Anthony wouldn’t appreciate it. “They’re nothing.” Finn dropped his right arm; there were four exposed on this arm alone.

  “Come now.” Anthony reached around the table and lifted Finn’s arm back up. For a catfish, he sure had a lot of confidence. Finn had to give him that at least. “This one. What’s it from?” He indicated to a tattoo outline of a very specific kind of rapier on Finn’s forearm.

  Finn had sixteen tattoos altogether. Most of them were film and television references, and most of them were on his right arm. The one that Anthony had indicated to specifically was the sword from Finn’s favorite film of all time, The Pirate Bride. Usually, it was something that Finn would love to talk about, but he knew that this might not be the right crowd.

  “What are the chances that you’ve seen the movie, The Pirate Bride?” Finn tried hopefully... desperately.

  “What do you think?” Anthony looked at Finn with such a sour expression, one would think he’d asked Anthony if he drank his own urine for breakfast. He then perked up, threw back the final sip of his Espresso Martini and groaned his delight. “I’m more into the higher arts, really. Theater. Poetry – Oh, I’m going to die when the Museum of Contemporary Art unveils their new Lee Lesson exhibit. Won’t you?”