Hesitant Hearts Read online

Now that he looked, and he should probably sit down before he passed rude into downright asshole, he couldn’t help but look more. The guy was gorgeous, well-built, but with the boy-next-door face. He was the kind of guy you’d definitely wanna take home to Mom – if Patrick had one to introduce him too.

  “Take a picture.” The guy’s expression was pointed. “It’ll last longer.”

  “Probably,” Patrick said easily, and finally dropped into the other chair at the table. There was a stony silence at the table, the guy fiddling with his phone, that Patrick was glad to see was one of his own, and biting at his bottom lip. “So, turns out my friends are assholes.”

  Meeting Patrick’s eyes, the guy snorted and then smiled, sincere this time around, and a touch wry. “No shit. Nat didn’t mention she was setting me up on a date.”

  Figured that Natasha would be involved. “Of course, this is Natasha’s fault,” Patrick sighed. “Eddie abandoned me at the behest of the she-devil.”

  “I should probably be offended you’re calling Nat that,” the guy said, leaning forward against the table. “But right now, I’m annoyed enough to let it go.”

  A waiter approached their table, and Patrick shrugged at the look thrown his way. “We might as well eat, right?”

  There was a long silence, the waiter shifting uncomfortably, but eventually the guy nodded. “You’re not hard on the eyes, I guess.”

  Patrick couldn’t help the burst of laughter at that, and relaxed back in his chair, ordering a couple of items off the menu. It was expensive and pretentious, just the kind of food he usually hated, and couldn’t remember why he’d picked this place as somewhere to go.

  Blondie looked equally as irritated by the menu and chose the closest to burger and fries that he could get, shrugging when the waiter asked what drink they’d like.

  “Beers,” Patrick said, flashing a smile at the waiter’s pained nod. “Whatever you have.”

  Covering his mouth with a hand – and Patrick hoped that was a smile he could see peeking out – and shook his head. “Such uncouth patrons.”

  Patrick made a face. “Pretty sure they’re not surprised I’m an uncultured asshole.”

  “That,” Blondie said, waving a finger in Patrick’s face, “is not what I called you – us.”

  “Nope,” Patrick said, popping the p. “But it’s definitely what I called me.”

  There was another silence, but this time it was more assessing than unsure. Blondie had his head titled, eyes narrowed as he stared at Patrick. It was a familiar look, one Patrick was used to seeing on people who tried to figure him out, as if they had any hope of figuring out what was going on inside of Patrick’s head. Sometimes, he wasn’t even sure what was going on in there.

  Blondie must have found whatever it was he was looking for, because he shifted in his chair, sprawling over the table. He still managed to look uncomfortable, though whether that was due to the restaurant they were in or just a general Blondie thing, Patrick didn’t know.

  “So, you’re Patrick Wright.”

  Patrick threw his arms wide, showing off that he was, in fact, Patrick Wright. “Guilty as charged.”

  “Huh.” Blondie tapped his fingers on the table a few times.

  It seemed like they’d lapse into another silence, but Patrick gave Blondie a pointed look.

  “Isaac,” Blondie – Isaac – said, lips quirking up into another smile. “Isaac Carter.”

  “So, Isaac Carter, I guess we should figure out whether or not we’re gonna tell our friends this dinner was a wash,” Patrick said. “Or, whether we’re gonna make them think this was actually a success.”

  Chapter Three

  “You’re suggesting we lie.”

  It was the only thing Isaac had said for a long time. The waiter had swung by with their beers, promising the food would be out in no time, and left them to their uncomfortable silence.

  Patrick’s brain was doing a great job of berating himself for being such an idiot. It wasn’t anything unusual, and besides, Patrick was used to hanging around with his friends, who were all well-acquainted with Patrick’s idiocy. It wasn’t his fault Isaac didn’t know him, wasn’t aware of how much Patrick’s mouth tended to run away from him.

  Isaac finally sat back, sprawled more comfortably in his chair, and the smirk on his face was something closer to what Patrick had been hoping for. Apparently, there were touches of asshole in Isaac – and that was something Patrick could appreciate in a person.

  “I think maybe that could work in our favor.” Isaac fiddled with the fork currently on the napkin next to his glass. His eyes were so fucking blue, and Patrick hated to be cliché about anything, but he was fairly sure he was gonna end up falling into them and never climbing out if he let himself.

  Shaking his head, he forced himself back into the moment. He wasn’t that person, refused to let himself be, and dammit, there was a reason he’d never gone looking for someone after his mid-life sexuality crisis.

  “I love my friends,” Patrick pointed out, and knew somewhere deep down it was the truth. “But setting me up with someone I don’t know, which is destined to fail, by the way, is a step too far. I’d really like to see it blow up in their face.”

  Something crossed Isaac’s face at Patrick’s self-deprecation, but thankfully focused on what Patrick had continued with, instead of telling Patrick to suck it up or stop being a dick or whatever contrite shit people usually said at times like that.

  “Public breakup?” Isaac asked, eyes flicking up to the waiter, who had returned to their table with plates of food.

  While he looked intrigued at hearing public breakup, he was clearly a professional, who simply asked if they needed anything else and left them to it.

  “Not just yet,” Patrick said, letting out a small laugh at Isaac’s discomfort. “We should probably leave that until we’ve gone out a few times.”

  Isaac didn’t react right away, though he looked unimpressed at Patrick’s amusement on his behalf. He poked at the food on his plate, sighing. “As long as we don’t ever come back here.”

  Patrick’s laugh was far more genuine. “Probably my fault. I mentioned it to Eddie as somewhere that looked cool.” At Isaac’s exasperated expression, and his own reassessment, he held up his hands. “Hey, that was before I had a look at the menu and realized that I’m not this pretentious.”

  “So you’re saying you’re only a little pretentious?”

  “No.” Patrick sliced into the meat that passed for a steak on his plate, and waved a fork of meat in Isaac’s face, which had the added benefit of making him laugh. “I’m not pretentious at all, Mr. Carter.”

  “Oh, fuck off,” Isaac said. “As if I haven’t heard that all my life.”

  Patrick hadn’t actually meant anything by it, but he couldn’t help but be amused at his own unintentional joke. “Well, if the cardigan fits.”

  “I don’t even wear cardigans,” Isaac snapped, and then sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose at Patrick’s laugh. “Somehow, I don’t think a relationship would last if I amuse you this much.”

  “Nonsense,” Patrick said, to cover up the hurt that tightened his chest. He had to stop getting invested so quickly. It wasn’t as if his friends hadn’t said something similar on plenty of occasions. “A relationship should be built on humor and laughter, or is that just as strange to you?”

  Isaac’s smile this time was more genuine. “A relationship, huh?”

  Patrick let the silence drag as he ate some more of his dinner. “That’s what we’re going for, isn’t it?”

  Acquiescing the point with a nod, Isaac polished off the rest of his meal – the guy ate like it was going to be taken away from him – and though Patrick tried not to let on that he had seen, was throwing furtive glances Patrick’s way the entire time. They were appreciative looks, and Patrick was a regular recipient of them enough to know, and Patrick couldn’t help but savor each one.

  Though Rebecca often cited his age as a reason he wa
s still single, Patrick was well aware it had more to do with the fact that he didn’t particularly want a relationship. It was so much effort and most of the time, Patrick could barely take care of himself, let alone somebody else.

  Isaac settled his cutlery on the side of the plate, and toyed with the liquid left in his glass, swirling it around and looking at it and then back up to Patrick. “A relationship, then.”

  He held the glass out, and Patrick waited a beat before picking up his own glass, tapping the edge of his against Isaac’s and taking a sip, eyes crinkled and smile wide. “Relationship.”

  It felt good to be on the same wavelength as somebody else, and while this could be as terrible as it felt amazing, and Patrick had a tendency to go over all the terrible things that could possibly go wrong around something like this, he tried not to think about any of it.

  “Do you think Natasha is gonna kill us with her thighs?”

  Isaac snorted, shaking his head. There was an internal eyeroll in there, Patrick was certain. “Why did you have to mention her thighs?”

  “You’re right,” Patrick said, thoughtfully, gesturing at Isaac with his fork. “She could kill me with her pinkie finger.”

  Collapsing back in his chair, Isaac’s smile was amused, and he rested his hands on his knees.

  “You should put my number in that phone,” Patrick said, gesturing at Isaac’s cell phone, resting against the salt shaker.

  Isaac pretended to think about it, but eventually slipped the phone from the table. He held it out to Patrick, who took the phone and tapped in his number quickly. He could feel Isaac’s gaze on him, and once again, let himself bask in it, before sliding the phone back across the table.

  “It’s a good phone,” Patrick said, smirking.

  “It’s all right,” Isaac responded easily, laughing gently as Patrick sighed dramatically. “Dessert?”

  Patrick usually preferred the ice cream he had in his own freezer to anything he could get at a restaurant, but something about the way Isaac was looking at him kept him rooted to his suit.

  “I’d love to,” and Patrick surprised himself with how genuine it was.

  Chapter Four

  Eddie was waiting in the lobby the next morning.

  Spending the evening with Isaac hadn’t been as bad as it could have been, so Patrick wasn’t angry at Eddie about that. Thankfully, he was still irritated about being lied to, and gave Eddie his best withering look. “A blind date? Really?”

  “Yes,” Eddie said. “You needed one, don’t give me that look.”

  Eddie was lucky that Patrick actually liked Isaac. Of course, it also helped that he and Isaac had formed their little scheme, though they hadn’t really gone into detail about how exactly this would work out. Did it count as a pretend or fake relationship if one party actually thought the other was a) attractive and b) relationship material.

  You can’t actually figure out whether someone is relationship material from one meal, Patrick.

  The voice in his head sounded an awful lot like his father as of late and God, that was definitely not what Patrick was going for. Shaking it off, and ignoring the strange look Eddie was giving him, Patrick didn’t bother to flash his pass at the desk, their acknowledgement and quick attempts to look busy more amusing than irritating.

  As the doors to the elevator shut on the lobby, Patrick leaned back against the far wall, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ll look at you however I want to when you’re being a dick.”

  Eddie was smirking, which was irritating in itself, but he sighed, nudging Patrick’s shoulder until Patrick relaxed into a smile. “Okay, so maybe I could have been a little less underhanded about it, but you would not have gone if I’d told you outright.”

  That was for sure. Patrick’s love life was usually off limits to his friends and they knew it. “You’re just lucky he wasn’t put off by me. Yet.”

  There was an unreadable expression on Eddie’s face at that. “Maybe he won’t be put off by you at all.”

  Patrick made a face, but wisely didn’t say anything. Eddie never reacted well to his self-effacement, and besides, Patrick actually liked Isaac enough not to want to ruin it before it had even started.

  The elevator stopped on Patrick’s floor and he walked out backwards, stretching his arms out as he did so, ignoring the amused tilt to Eddie’s smile. “You could be right, Eddie. I am pretty awesome.”

  “Sure,” Eddie said easily, with the right amount of skepticism.

  There was a company to run, and as much as Patrick wanted to keep shooting the shit with Eddie, there was a pile of paperwork on his desk that would keep growing unless he dealt with it. When he whined as much to Eddie, he received a pointed look.

  “Just make her CEO and get it over with.”

  It wasn’t the first time Eddie had made the suggestion and Patrick knew it wouldn’t the last. He wanted to – she was much better at running the company than he was, but it was still his name on everything, and it would be a huge change that Patrick wasn’t sure he was ready for right now. He needed to keep control of one thing in his life, and for now, his company was that thing.

  “You love designing this stuff anyway,” Eddie said, sitting at his own desk, and waving his hands pointedly at his computer, like everything in the room wasn’t Wright Tech. “You’d be able to do it full time.”

  A tempting thought. After Patrick’s parents had died, he had been enthusiastic about taking over the company – until he’d realized how little time he’d have for being on the ground and getting his hands dirty. He managed to avoid the actual running of the company as much as possible, with Rebecca always riding his ass to get involved. Gary was only too willing to run interference for him, especially when it was a joint project, but Patrick knew he couldn’t keep doing it. Not without giving Rebecca the credit she deserved for running the company behind the scenes.

  They lapsed into a comfortable silence, though Eddie would take the occasional phone call, disappearing into the hall so that Patrick couldn’t hear. It was suspicious enough without the smirk on Eddie’s face every time he came back into the room. It was no surprise, then, that Rebecca appeared in his office later that afternoon, heels clicking on the tiled floor well before she actually entered.

  Patrick sat back in his chair, letting it swivel toward the door, and when Rebecca strode in, self-satisfied smile on her face, Patrick was ready for her.

  Hair neat, suit pressed, and looking every inch a company woman, Rebecca perched on the edge of the desk, legs crossed at the ankle. “Eddie tells me you want to spill everything this evening.”

  “Does he?” Patrick asked, dryly. Eddie gave him a thumbs up from behind his own desk, and Patrick made a mental note to pay him back for it later. “Maybe I don’t wanna kiss and tell.”

  “Ha!” Eddie said, disbelieving. “You always wanna kiss and tell.”

  “That was before you assholes set me up.” Patrick avoided the punch Rebecca aimed his way for calling her an asshole, but he accepted the kick to his ankle. “Ow!”

  Rebecca snorted. “Don’t be such a baby. If we didn’t throw you out there, you’d end up sad and alone, surrounded by technology that can’t possibly love you in return.”

  That cut a little deep, and though Patrick didn’t mean it the way it sounded – her voice just a little too amused to make it spiteful – it wasn’t easy to tell his head that. Rebecca seemed to realize it at the same time because she pushed herself back to her feet, and touched his shoulder, squeezing gently.

  “If you don’t want to speak to Isaac again,” she started.

  “I didn’t say that,” Patrick said, patting Rebecca’s hand and then moving away from her, to cross the room. He needed to pace, get his thoughts back in order, and he couldn’t do that next to her – or Eddie.

  Rebecca raised her eyebrows. “Oh?”

  Patrick thought of Isaac’s smile as they’d parted, the number tucked safely in the contacts of his phone, and the promise of anoth
er date. “He wasn’t so bad.”

  Eddie coughed into his hand, childish, and if Patrick wasn’t trying to be painfully adult, he’d have flipped Eddie off. “That’s a glowing recommendation if ever there was one.”

  “You can tell Natasha all about it,” Rebecca informed him, smiling wide at his horrified expression. “Oh relax, you know she loves you.”

  Patrick’s face was expressive, and he could only imagine what he looked like to have both Eddie and Rebecca laugh out loud. Patrick did know Natasha liked him. She wouldn’t continue to hang around him if she didn’t, but their relationship had always been built on a healthy respect and appreciation for the other’s skills. So what if Patrick was convinced Natasha was actually a bounty hunter or assassin, that didn’t make the respect any less earned.

  His comment about Natasha’s thighs to Isaac hadn’t been an accident.

  “What time are you all crashing my apartment?” Patrick didn’t need to ask if it was his place they were headed for. It wasn’t often they stuck to apartments; they all worked enough that going out to eat was preferred, but Patrick did have the very best of everything, mostly because he had the money to pay for it. Not that he was prone to bragging, ha, but Rebecca and Eddie spent almost more time in his apartment than he did. Natasha claimed his movie collection was better than hers, and Jake just had a tendency to turn up uninvited. Gary was probably the only one who didn’t come over unless he was specifically invited.

  “Which reminds me,” Patrick said aloud, frowning when Rebecca and Eddie looked confused. “Which of you convinced Gary to lie to me?”

  Eddie looked unashamed, and Rebecca was smiling sweetly, so it could have been either of them. Or both. Patrick wasn’t a betting man. A stupid man sometimes, when it came to vices, but not a betting man.

  “Whoever it was owes me. And him. You know how he gets when he’s been forced to keep a secret.”

  Rebecca outright laughed at him for that one, which was probably fair. “Gary loves to fuck with you Patrick, just like the rest of us.”