Boyfriend Material Read online

  Maybe Jason would become his friend eventually.

  Taylor shook his head, wondering why that random thought had suddenly crawled into his mind and lay back down on the warm bed. He flipped the pillow and closed his eyes, trying to forget that he was surrounded by the most brightly colored room in the world and get back to sleep.

  Chapter Three

  Jason looked around the class and couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment. It wasn’t as if seeing Taylor was the only thing he had been looking forward to, but if he was being honest with himself, it was definitely a factor. He liked class, anyway, but he had arrived bright and early hoping to catch him. Maybe he had changed his mind and didn’t want to come to Jason’s class.

  Jason sighed, then tried to put on a smiling face for all the people around him. They were his students and he wasn’t going to let them down just because some man he couldn’t stop thinking about hadn’t bothered to show up.

  “Hello! I’m Jason,” he said brightly, starting the speech off in the same way he did every time. “Is there anyone new here today?”

  “Me,” someone said from the back.

  “Hi! So Salsex is an intense cardio exercise based on Latin dance. It’s fun, but there’s a lot of choreography. Don’t worry if you can’t keep up, as long as you’re moving and having fun, you’re exercising. You can also modify as you want, if there’s anything that you find too difficult. Okay, that’s it. Have fun, don’t be afraid to take breaks, and it’s okay if you get lost. I’m the instructor and I get lost sometimes. That’s it, really. I teach Tuesdays and Thursdays at six. Don’t forget to give me your ticket at the end of the class.”

  The double doors opened and Jason glanced at them. He smiled as he saw Taylor walking into the class, feeling a huge sense of relief washing over him. He knew that it made absolutely no sense that he would be relieved about this random man that he didn’t know coming into his class, but Jason had needed to see him again. He had thought that maybe he had been wrong about Taylor, about how gorgeous he was, that maybe something had gone wrong and he had just been particularly horny that day or something.

  But he hadn’t been wrong.

  Taylor was wearing a black loose-fitting shirt and black shorts and he looked amazing. He smiled back at Jason and said something so quietly that Jason couldn’t hear him, but it didn’t matter. Class had to start and he would have to leave talking to Taylor until later, if he chose to hang around.

  Not that anything would ever come of it. Jason knew that. He knew that Taylor was probably straight and just wanted to try something new, and he also knew that, even if he decided to hang back and talk to Jason, they would probably never be friends. Because men like Taylor were never friends with men like Jason.

  Jason shook his head. He had to get his head in the game. People were paying for his time, and he was standing there fantasizing about what could or couldn’t happen with one of them. It was not a very professional attitude. He clicked a couple of buttons on his phone until the music was coming through the speakers in the room, then he smiled at his reflection and started to dance.

  ***

  As soon as almost everyone was out of class, Jason started to pack up his stuff. His muscles ached, there was sweat dripping down his face and down his chest, and he wanted to go home, have a ridiculously hot shower and watch a terrible movie. People would sometimes hang around after class and he didn’t mind talking to them, but he was taking his time because he really wanted to talk to Taylor, over everything else.

  Of course, he didn’t want to make it look like he wanted to talk to Taylor. On the other hand, it wasn’t as if the people in his class didn’t know that he was gay. More than once, a few of his students had offered to set him up with their friends, which he always had to politely decline, whether he felt like declining or not.

  He tried not to get involved with people that he worked with or close to. However, he doubted Taylor would come back. Men were usually not eager to return to his class once they found out how difficult it was – and how much booty-shaking was involved.

  “Hey,” Taylor said. He was standing next to Jason and Jason’s heart leaped in his chest. “I was hoping you had a minute.”

  “Sure,” Jason replied. He looked around and was relieved to see that everyone else had left the room. “But the next class is about to come in. Do you want to walk and talk?”

  “I don’t know if I can walk, but I can try,” Taylor said, smiling at him.

  Jason laughed softly. “Sorry. I know the first class can be kind of intense.”

  “It’s okay,” Taylor said. “It’s what I signed up for.”

  “It gets easier.”

  “Yeah,” Taylor said, frowning. “I would certainly hope so.”

  Jason laughed again, a little more heartily this time. “Anyway, give me a minute and I can meet you outside.”

  “Cool,” Taylor replied. “Thank you. I know you’re busy.”

  “Don’t thank me yet, I don’t know what you’re going to ask for,” Jason said. He had to stop himself from winking at Taylor, despite the overwhelming urge to do so.

  “Now you’re giving me ideas,” Taylor said. “You should probably stop that.”

  “Sorry,” Jason replied, shrugging. “I obviously can’t help myself.”

  “Obviously,” Taylor replied. Then he winked at Jason.

  ***

  Jason had to have been wrong. He just had to have been. Straight men didn’t go around winking at other men, peppering their conversations with double meanings. Straight men didn’t ask other men to meet them in parking lots when they were both sweaty and gross.

  Jason didn’t think so, anyway. He wasn’t sure, but then he couldn’t be sure, and it wasn’t something he could just ask. He guessed he could ask Taylor if he was single, which seemed like a good enough place to start. All he needed to do was work that into the conversation somehow, in a way that sounded natural. He didn’t know if there was any way it could come up without it sounding forced.

  He looked at the people leaving the gym until he saw Taylor coming out, his headphones in his hand.

  “Hi,” he said. “Thank you for hanging around here and waiting for me.”

  “It’s cool,” Jason said. It was more than cool, but it wasn’t as if he could just say that. “What’s up? How can I help you?”

  Taylor pouted for a second. “This is a little embarrassing.”

  “You’re a good dancer,” Jason said, without thinking. Taylor’s eyes widened, his eyebrows shot up and then he started to laugh. It was a good thing that it was dark, Jason thought, because if Taylor had been able to see how red his entire face was, he would have never been able to live with himself. Of course, that wasn’t what Taylor meant and he really needed to get a grip and stop flirting with him. Because whatever Taylor wanted, that reaction was definitely enough to clue Jason in.

  It wasn’t him.

  He had been right after all and Taylor hadn’t wanted him. Jason felt like an idiot, but he also felt kind of relieved. It was better that he knew now, better that he didn’t get his hopes up, because there would be no point to that.

  “No, I — thank you,” Taylor said. “That’s nice.”

  “Um, some people have a knack for it,” Jason replied. He was trying to recover, but he also didn’t want to appear cold.

  “Thanks,” Taylor said. He stopped laughing, and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry to say that my question is more clinical.”

  “Oh?”

  “I broke my arm a few months ago,” Taylor said.

  “You fractured it?”

  “Yeah,” Taylor said. “Fractured my forearm. It could have been a lot worse, according to the doctors. Anyway, I’ve been going to physical therapy, right? But I need to start getting back into exercise. I wanted to do some cardio that was intense but I could choose whether to use my arms or not, and I hate running. It’s so boring.”

  “I get that,” Jason replied. “I hate run
ning, too. There are a lot of arm movements in Salsex, though. You sure you can do it?”

  “Well, that’s what I’ve been meaning to ask you about,” Taylor said. “Because I really need to get back into the swing of things. But I wanted to know if you recommended like, warming up more, or maybe using my arm for only half the exercises or something. I mean, I want to get back into it, but the last thing I want to do is hurt myself again.”

  “Yeah,” Jason said, nodding. “Of course. What happened?”

  “I was playing football,” Taylor said. “And one of the guys fell on top of my arm before I had managed to right it and he kind of just — broke it.”

  “Ouch,” Jason replied, looking down at Taylor’s extended arm. “He must have been huge.”

  “Yeah,” Taylor said, nodding. “That, and it was his shoulder, too. He dove and ouch. I could hear my bone crunching.”

  Jason looked at him, his eyes widening.

  “Sorry, I know, that’s grim,” Taylor said. “The doctors said it could have been a lot worse but just thinking about it makes me cringe.”

  “As it should,” Jason replied. “That sounds terrible.”

  “It is what it is,” Taylor said, shrugging. “Again, I’m just trying to get back into the swing of things. But I don’t want to be like, really crazy about it either. Like, okay, I’m sure that no matter what, my arm is going to hurt. But I don’t want to harm it any further, right? Like I just want it to be okay.”

  “Yeah,” Jason said. “Well, does it still hurt?”

  “Sometimes, it’s kind of hard to rotate my wrist still. The bone that was fractured was the radius. The ulna was not fractured, which is kind of freaky. The doctors were super interested in it. Me, I was less interested. All I knew was that I was in a lot of pain and could hardly move my arm and rotate my wrist.”

  “So you couldn’t play sports?”

  “I couldn’t do anything,” Taylor said. “Couldn’t type, couldn’t write, couldn’t really drive. It was awful, actually. I’ve always prided myself in being someone independent, but the moment you lose the ability to rotate your right wrist, everything kind of goes out the window.”

  “I can’t imagine,” Jason replied.

  “Good, don’t,” Taylor said. “I don’t want anyone to have to imagine what that was like. Because it was bad.”

  “Yeah,” Jason said. He wasn’t sure what else he could say because Taylor didn’t sound like he needed consoling. The way he was talking about was completely matter-of-fact, there was no emotion in his voice.

  “Anyway,” Taylor said. “The reason I told you all that wasn’t to get you to feel sorry for me, it was just to ask for your recommendation. Do you think that I should be doing everything at Salsex?”

  Jason pouted. “I think you need to ask your therapist because I’m not a medical professional. I’m just trained to dance.”

  “And, may I just say, you’re very good at it.”

  “Thank you,” Jason said, blushing again, but smiling brightly at Taylor this time. “However, bones are a little bit outside of my area of expertise. I’m more worried about you stretching than anything else, really. You can stop doing the arm bit at any time, but you really need to stretch. Your muscles won’t be happy if you don’t stretch after exercising, but you really need to look after that broken bone.”

  “Well, it’s mostly healed now,” Taylor replied. “It’s been a few months. I just don’t want it to get any worse.”

  Jason shrugged. “I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful,” he said. “This is really something that you need to ask your physical therapist about.”

  “Ugh, you’re right,” Taylor said. “I just try to avoid talking to her as much as possible because she reminds me of how useless I am right now.”

  Taylor’s tone of voice wasn’t matter-of-fact anymore. He seemed genuinely, legitimately upset, which Jason didn’t like at all. He didn’t know Taylor, but his tone of voice and his words betrayed some deep insecurity that Jason didn’t know him well enough to ask about.

  “If you hadn’t told me,” Jason replied, gently. “I don’t think I would have even noticed. Do you still have limited mobility?”

  “Not really,” Taylor replied, smiling at him. His eyes sparkled. “I guess I’m just a little scared that things will never get back to normal.”

  Jason nodded. “I can understand that. But cardio is a great first step and you need to do it if you want to get back in shape, which you clearly do. I mean, not that you’re out of shape, like, you were keeping up really well and —”

  “It’s okay,” Taylor said, waving his hands in front of his face. “I got what you meant.”

  “Okay, good,” Jason replied. They stared at each other for a few moments of silence. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but it felt to Jason as if it was a very long time.

  Taylor looked away first, then Jason smiled. “Listen, I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help.”

  “It’s alright,” Taylor said. “I’m sorry to have bothered you in the first place.”

  “Hey, that’s what I’m here for,” Jason replied. “You’re good. If you have any other questions, you should let me know.”

  “Sure,” Taylor said. Jason couldn’t be sure, but he thought that Taylor was a little embarrassed. Jason wanted to reassure him, but he also didn’t know him well enough, and when he had made assumptions about Taylor, he had made a fool of himself.

  Jason wasn’t sure what to do, so he looked down at the floor.

  “Anyway,” Taylor said. “I won’t take up any more of your time. Will you be here next Tuesday?”

  “I sure will,” Jason replied, a little more eagerly than he had intended to. “I’ll see you then?”

  “Yup,” Taylor said. “That sounds good.”

  With that, Taylor turned around and walked away, and Jason looked at his back until he disappeared into the parking lot.

  Chapter Four

  Taylor finally managed to unlock the door to his house after he had dropped his keys one too many times. He was incredibly distracted and he wasn’t sure why. Well, he knew why he was distracted, but he couldn’t understand the motive behind his distraction. Jason was a nice enough person, but he didn’t have the time or inclination to obsess over a random man. He wasn’t sure what was going on with him, but he hadn’t really been able to get Jason out of his head, which was nothing like him.

  He rarely obsessed over anyone. He definitely didn’t obsess over men.

  Despite how good he was at moving his hips. Taylor had never seen another man move like that in real life. He had seen it in movies and music videos, and it always struck him as campy, but nothing particularly noteworthy. It had been different when he had been in class. He had been surrounded by beautiful women wearing tight clothes and he had wanted to focus on them when they were shaking their asses, but all he could concentrate on was the way that Jason moved in the front of the class. It wasn’t creepy or anything — he was the instructor and that was what Taylor needed to focus on in the first place. But the way that Jason had moved, the way he was so comfortable with his body, Taylor thought that maybe he was just jealous of that. Because there was no shame there, Jason’s every movement showed how confident he was, how much he loved living in his body.

  Yeah, that was it. Taylor was feeling vulnerable after everything that had happened in the last few months and seeing the way that Jason moved and clearly felt confident in his body had made Taylor experience something he rarely did: jealousy.

  And Taylor wasn’t sure how to process it, because he had been envious of other people’s material possessions before, which was par the course for someone with his background, as far as he was concerned. But he had never been jealous of someone’s personality before, probably because he had always been so worried about himself.

  “Hey,” his roommate said. “Are you just going to stand there, not coming in, or —”

  “Hey,” he replied, smiling at him. Or at least
trying to. Elliot was a nice enough guy, but as a member of the team, his priorities were quite different to Taylor’s. Even though they had been roommates for a few months, Taylor was still deciding whether they were friends or not. Most of the time, he thought they were. Sometimes, Taylor wasn’t so sure.

  But Elliot didn’t seem to have that problem with him.

  Elliot really liked Taylor and he had been the one that had organized the food drives and the painting of Taylor’s bedroom. If Taylor had friends at school, then he supposed that Elliot had to be counted among them. And he really needed to talk to someone.

  He pushed the door in and walked inside. “Have you eaten yet?”

  “Nah,” Elliot said, shaking his head. “I ordered pizza, though. If you want some.”

  “Sure,” Taylor said, his smile a little less shaky this time. “Thank you. I’m just going to hop in the shower.”

  ***

  “So how was Salsex?” Elliot said. He was sitting next to Taylor on the sofa, his feet on the ottoman. Taylor looked at him for a second as he bit into his slice of pepperoni pizza, wondering how much he should tell him. He took a bite and slowly chewed, trying to buy himself a little time as he tasted the pizza.

  “Good,” Taylor finally said, once he swallowed.

  “You don’t sound too sure about that,” Elliot said. “Is your arm okay?”

  Taylor shrugged. He didn’t like that he was so easy to read, but he supposed it make sense, with the guy living with him for a while and everything. “It’s not really about my arm. Just, I don’t know, something weird happened.”

  “At the gym?”

  Taylor looked at him and nodded slowly. Elliot laughed, shaking his head. “Of course at the gym. Sorry, I’m an idiot.”

  “You’re not,” Taylor said. “I know I’m being a little cryptic. It’s just that I’m trying to wrap my head around something and I’m kind of struggling with it. Like, with my feelings about it.”