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  His plan had always been to move out to California ever since he was a little boy. His health demanded a warm climate. Despite the fact that he appeared to be extremely healthy, growing up in Michigan had been terrible for his lungs. Every vacation that they took to Florida was a welcome respite—a few weeks where he could take a full breath without worrying about dissolving into a coughing fit.

  His parents had helped him, a little, when he had first decided that he was going to move. But his mother was still in denial over the fact that he was gay, and she had put her foot down when it came to Los Angeles. He wasn’t going to live there because it was a hub for degenerates and gays, she had told him, all while his father nodded along in the background. Jacob didn’t want to tell them that Florida was also a hub for degenerates and gays. The big cities were certainly that, so he just let them believe whatever they wanted, took the money they had given him for his birthday, and packed his bags into the 1991 Plymouth that his father had gifted him for his seventeenth birthday. That was years ago. He had since sold that car when the AC stopped working, but the upgrade wasn’t any better.

  He was glad that he still had his apartment to go to. It was much nicer than what he could afford, but that was why he had a roommate. He was a grad student named Chad who studied well into the night and didn’t care that there was a parade of men coming in and out of the house every night, provided that they didn’t disturb him. It was a good thing that the walls were thick, because Jacob was sure he would have been kicked out of the house already if he had ever annoyed Chad.

  He drove home thinking about Chris. Manuel was right; normally, Jacob would have considered Chris the competition. He was tall and handsome, he obviously worked out, and he was probably going to go directly against Chris in any sort of audition for events put on by the county.

  Any other time, Jacob would have been a little nervous. Most of the people in the actor troupe had other ways to make a living, but acting was Jacob’s main source of income. He knew that he should probably get another job, one where he could save up to move out to California. Other than acting, he had no skills.

  Sighing, he got out of the car and stared at the building where he lived. It was one of the only ones in town that wasn’t fenced in. It was small and unassuming, but it suited him fine.

  He looked down at his phone and checked the time. There was still one hour left before Chris was due to arrive, and he wondered if he could set up a date in that time. Setting up a date would likely not be the problem; the problem would be the guy driving himself over, then leaving before Chris arrived.

  Jacob was pretty sure that he could set up anything he wanted, but for some reason, he didn’t want to make Chris uncomfortable. Normally, he wouldn’t have cared about the fact that a guy was leaving when another one was arriving, but Chris had seemed so adorably lost when they had first met that the last thing Jacob wanted to do was make him feel any worse.

  Maybe Chris was interested in men, Jacob thought, then he laughed bitterly under his breath.

  No, no way. He knew almost every guy that was interested in men in town, because he had either hooked up with them, or they were people that he hung out with on occasion. He hesitated to call them friends, since Jacob didn’t feel like he had a lot of friends in town. He didn’t feel like he had a lot of friends at all, actually. He had never been too popular.

  Well, that wasn’t exactly true. He had never been popular with friends. When it came to guys, it was a little different. He worked out, he was blessed with good genes, and he was charming enough that it was never a problem to find someone to spend the night.

  He wondered if he could talk Chris into spending the night with him. He knew that the answer would probably be a firm no, but he couldn’t help but fantasize about it. Chris was gorgeous, with light blue eyes and a nervous smile, his cheeks a rosy red. He was beautiful, really, and Jacob would have done anything to kiss him. He hated to admit it, but that was probably the reason he had offered to teach Chris in the first place, because he was cute.

  It had nothing to do with competition. He already had enough competition. It had everything to do with how cute he thought Chris was.

  He really needed to stop thinking with his dick, he thought.

  The apartment was small, and Chad hadn’t been there for a few nights. He was probably staying with his girlfriend. Jacob was falling behind on chores, so he busied himself doing dishes and tidying up, putting stuff away and dusting before Chris was due to arrive.

  He probably shouldn’t have cared about what Chris thought of his apartment, but he couldn’t help himself.

  Chapter Three

  Chris wasn’t sure why he was going to Jacob’s house in the first place, and the fact that his GPS seemed to be struggling with his address made him even more hesitant. Chris had always been a superstitious person, but it was particularly hard when things seemed uncertain for him. Things seemed more uncertain than ever now.

  He finally arrived at a small building with a brick exterior. The place itself wasn’t very nice with its plastic green chairs outside. The building looked like it had been built in the seventies, and although Chris didn’t know a lot about architecture, the first word that came into his mind to describe the imposing building was brutalism.

  It wasn’t really a style that he saw a lot of in Florida, and when he did, it was reserved for federal buildings—specifically, federal prisons. He shook his head, trying hard to remember why he was there.

  He was going to learn a new skill. It had nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to see Jacob, because why would he want to see Jacob? He barely knew the guy. He had thought they were empty words when Jacob had said that he was going to teach him acting, but then Jacob had actually texted him to ask him when he was going to come over.

  Chris had tried to put it off, but after his friend Evan at work pressured him—well, he had called him a coward more than he’d pressured him, really, and there was no way that Chris could argue that he wasn’t—he didn’t feel like he had much of a choice. He couldn’t face backing out of the thing he had said he was going to do because his friends already knew exactly how little he was doing with his life ever since Sophia had left him.

  He cleared his throat as he walked up to the door with the N21 marker, wondering how the numbering system worked in this apartment complex, and knocked on the door. He was nervous, but he wasn’t sure what he was nervous about. This wasn’t a date; it was a class.

  The idea that he was thinking about it as a date was crazy. It wasn’t the kind of thing that he would have normally been okay with, but there was something about Jacob. Just going to his house felt like a weird step in something that Chris wasn’t able to put his finger on. Standing there, waiting for him to open the door, felt just as weird as meeting him had.

  He was about to turn away when Jacob opened the door. He was wearing a black shirt and blue jeans, and he looked totally relaxed, as though seeing Chris was the most natural thing in the world. Of course, it probably was the most natural thing in the world, because Jacob couldn’t tell that there was something off about the way that Chris felt about him.

  “Hi,” Jacob said. He was standing in front of him, smiling. His dark brown eyes were sparkling.

  “Hi,” Chris replied, trying to make his voice sound steady. “Sorry I’m late. The GPS on my phone was super lost.”

  “It’s cool,” Jacob said. “That happens a lot. Come in, come in, sorry for the mess.”

  Chris did as he was told, looking around and trying to find the mess that Jacob was talking about. The apartment was small and dark. It wasn’t pleasant enough to be described as cozy, but it definitely had something sweet about it, even though the outside didn’t do it justice. The living room, just past the foyer, was decorated with a big mural of a celebrity whose name Chris couldn’t place.

  “It’s not messy in here,” Chris said. He wasn’t sure what else to say.

  “Yeah, okay,” Jacob said, rolling his ey
es. “If you say so. Sit down.”

  Chris sat down on the beige sofa, moving a mountain of throw pillows aside. He waited for Jacob to do the same thing, but Jacob was standing up, with his arms crossed over his chest. It looked like he was sizing Chris up again.

  “So,” Jacob said after a few seconds of painful silence. “Tell me a little bit about yourself.”

  “Well,” Chris started, clearing his throat and looking away. He didn’t like Jacob looking straight at him; it made him feel weird. This entire situation made him feel weird. “I’ve never acted before, so I guess part of the—”

  “No,” Jacob replied, shaking his head. He sat down next to him, on the throw pillows. “I didn’t mean that. I know that. Tell me about you.”

  “But—but what does this have to do with acting?” Chris replied, hearing the words coming out of his mouth before he could stop them. He wasn’t sure what reaction to expect, but he was certain that he didn’t expect Jacob to laugh and shake his head.

  “Well, acting is actually a small part of the acting biz,” Jacob replied, after he had settled down. “There are so many schools of thought about acting, and I’m only going to be able to teach you so much. Think of me as a prep course.”

  “A prep course?”

  “Yes,” Jacob said, nodding. “Look, I’m only one person. And yes, I’ve been studying acting for a really long time, but acting is one of those things that’s never more than a temporary job. Now, I’m not saying that you’re going to make this your job or anything. I don’t think you are, unless you’re an idiot, and you don’t really strike me as an idiot.”

  “Well, you don’t know me,” Chris said, laughing. “I could be an idiot.”

  “There we go,” Jacob said. “It’s kind of important that I start to get to know you. Because acting is one of those things that’s an art, right? The first thing that you need to feel is safe, because acting is one of those things where you have to be vulnerable. Do you have any hobbies?”

  “I like disc golf,” Chris replied. “And I like going to the gym. That’s not what you mean, is it?”

  “No, not at all,” Jacob said, shaking his head and smiling. “I meant, stuff where you’re vulnerable. Writing, performing, anything like that?”

  Chris shrugged his shoulders. Calling any of the things he liked to do hobbies was a stretch in any case.

  “No,” Chris finally said, after a moment of silence. He had tried shutting his eyes and thinking about anything that might fit Jacob’s description, but there was nothing. “No, nothing like that.”

  “Okay, well,” Jacob said, biting his lower lip and looking away. He looked like he was deep in thought. “This may be a little trickier than I thought.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because acting is one of those things where you have to be really vulnerable,” Jacob said. “I know, it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s really important that you’re able to take whatever you’re trying to do and portray it properly. You strike me as someone who is very guarded.”

  Chris swallowed. He didn’t realize that’s how he came across to new people, but he supposed it made sense. Especially around Jacob. There was something about Jacob that made him feel extremely vulnerable, which he supposed made him act even more guarded. It was a vicious cycle, one that he wasn’t sure he wanted to break out of.

  “I—I’m sorry,” Chris finally said. “I feel like I’m not really giving you that much to work with.”

  “It’s okay,” Jacob replied. “I mean, I did say that I was going to help you out, right? So I’m going to help you out.”

  Chris smiled. “Okay, but how?”

  “Well,” Jacob replied, smiling. His brown eyes were shining, and that was making Chris’ heart beat fast in chest, making him feel dizzy again. “That’s what I’m here to figure out, right?

  ***

  “Do you get it now?” Jacob asked. They were sitting on his floor, around his coffee table, drinking cups of green tea. Jacob had left Chris in the living room after telling him that it was obvious that he needed time to think about opening up. Jacob had said that Chris had to recognize that they were in a safe space and that Jacob would never make fun of him. Chris hadn’t been worried that he was going to make fun of him until that.

  “I guess,” Chris replied. “You’re saying I have to remind myself that it’s okay to be vulnerable when I’m around you. Otherwise, I’m never going to be able to act.”

  “Right,” Jacob said. “See, you’re starting to get it. The other important thing that you have to remember is that it’s a marathon.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Look,” Jacob replied, his voice taking on an edge. “This is a hard business, okay? It’s definitely not just what you know, but who you know, and where you’re at in the country. It’s also about the way that you look.”

  Chris couldn’t be sure, but he thought that Jacob sounded frustrated. It made no sense, because Jacob was a good-looking guy. Definitely good looking enough to be on television, perhaps even playing the title role in some rom-com or something.

  “But you’re so...”

  Jacob raised his eyebrows, obviously expecting Chris to finish the sentence that he had just started. He didn’t want to tell this man who he barely knew that he thought he was good looking. He didn’t want to give him the wrong idea.

  Jacob cocked his head. “Yes?”

  “Nothing,” Chris replied. “Okay, so be vulnerable around you. And realize that this is a hard business. Honestly, I don’t know how much I want to make acting my profession or anything. I know that a lot of people want to be actors, and that’s totally cool. I would like to learn a new skill. Like I said when we first met, it’s just something that interests me. It isn’t really something that I’m dying to make the most important thing in my life or anything.”

  “Right,” Jacob said, nodding. “I get that. Well, if you don’t mind me asking, and you shouldn’t, what’s the most important thing in your life?”

  Chris closed his eyes. A few weeks ago, he would have answered Sophia, unequivocally. It wasn’t because she was, but because it was what was expected of him. And Chris had always had an easy time doing exactly what was expected of him.

  Doing things that weren’t expected of him was a much bigger issue.

  But he was there, wasn’t he? He was there, and he was learning—or attempting to learn—to act, from someone that he didn’t know. He was trying to do something that he had said he was going to do for years. Even though part of him really wanted to run out of Jacob’s apartment and into the safety of his car.

  Being vulnerable never seemed less appealing, especially because, despite himself, he really wanted this person to like him. Being truly open around people wasn’t something that he was comfortable with, especially with people that he wanted to impress. Ugh, but there was no reason why he should want to impress Jacob in the first place.

  He wasn’t someone that had anything to do with Chris’ future, except maybe in training him to act. And so far, all that Jacob had managed to do was make him uncomfortable. Chris understood that was part of the whole being vulnerable thing, but it didn’t make him feel any better about not having an answer for even the simplest of questions.

  “I guess—I guess it’s my job?”

  “Okay, cool,” Jacob replied. Chris thought that Jacob didn’t seem to think that answer was cool at all, but he was acting mostly neutral. “So what do you do?”

  “I’m a manager,” Chris replied, licking his lips. “At Wire Town. It’s a—”

  “I know what Wire Town is. I don’t live under a rock,” Jacob replied, shaking his head. “Big box electronic retailer, right?”

  “Yup,” Chris said, nodding. “Been there for eight years.”

  “Eight years? That’s—do you mind me asking how old you are?”

  “No,” Chris replied, shaking his head and smiling. “I started working there when I was eighteen, and I’m twenty-six now.”
r />   “Okay,” Jacob replied. “And that’s—that’s the most important thing in your life?”

  Chris laughed, though it was a little more humorless than he wanted it to be. “I know, it sounds really pathetic, doesn’t it?”

  Jacob shrugged. “I’m not going to put you down, even if you bait me into it,” he replied. “Like I said before, this is a safe space. Although I am curious about why that is the most important thing in your life, and I hope you don’t mind me asking.”

  “No, of course not,” Chris said quietly. “I mean, I have to do my part in all of this, right? And that includes letting you in. Because I do want to learn, I do, and I don’t think that many people get free one-on-one coaching opportunities.”

  “Not with me, they don’t,” Jacob replied, flashing him a wide smile.

  Chris smiled back at him, then he cleared his throat before he answered. “I know how it sounds. For a long, long time, I thought that my ex-girlfriend was the priority in my life. And she was, except the thing is, we didn’t even really like each other that much. She was far more ambitious than I was, and we often did whatever she wanted. Her career was more important than mine.”

  Jacob raised his eyebrows. “But you still seem to care about your career.”

  “Because it’s the only thing I have, really,” Chris replied, the bitterness obvious in his voice. This wasn’t how he was going to make Jacob like him. It didn’t matter, though, because Jacob had asked him to be vulnerable, and there was no way anyone liked the vulnerable part of Chris.

  “It’s the only thing you have,” Jacob repeated, incredulous.

  “Yes,” Chris said. “Look, I know how it sounds, but it really is. I know that not everyone would like my job. It’s boring and mundane. But I really like it, and it’s been the one thing I’ve been consistently good at ever since I started. I was terrified I was going to be a bad manager, but I’m not. I like the work; I’m organized, and logistics are something I find both easy and pretty fun. Yeah, I know, don’t look at me like that. When Sophia broke up with me, I really thought—I don’t know. You don’t want to hear that. But my job, it didn’t change. I was still good at it.”