Lovingly Yours Read online

  “I was supposed to be getting clean here. You are making that very difficult,” he said, against my neck.

  I wrapped my legs around his hips and snatched the body wash from the shower caddy. I squeezed a generous amount into my palm and ran my hands all over his body.

  “Better?”

  He smiled up at me.

  “Any excuse to get you to put your hands on me is a good one if you ask me,” he said.

  He took the bottle from me and poured the body wash into his hand and massaged my skin, beginning at my shoulders. His strong fingers worked their way down my arms and across my chest. He lingered over my nipples, rolling them gently and sending jolts of electricity through my body. He ran his hands over my thighs and cupped my ass, his fingers slipping between my cheeks and sweeping against my puckered entrance.

  I moaned again and bit at his lips. I was hungry and wanted more of him. My legs strained to stay in place as our bodies became slick. He turned the water off and adjusted my body, leaving me breathless beneath him, clinging to his body with his mouth on my neck as I gasped for air. He rocked his hips forward, sliding his engorged manhood between my thighs.

  “Ah, Ian,” he moaned.

  He did it again, this time with more force, his hips driving forward. The hot smooth length of his body brushed against all of the secret places I wanted him to go. This time I moaned, excited by the way his body was teasing mine. He grabbed my hips and pressed me hard against the wall, capturing my mouth as he rocked his hips forward once again.

  I melted into him as he continued to rub his body against mine, his thick cock sliding back and forth between my thighs. The feeling was maddening; something beyond pleasure. I was drowning, suffocating in a sea of pleasure and he was at the very center of it all. He was both the source of my torment and its cure. I bit his ears and shoulders. I grasped at him desperately. I welcomed the crushing weight of his body against mine as his movements drove me closer and closer to my release.

  “I want to cum,” I moaned into his ear.

  He wasted no time, prying my arms off of his body and pinning them above my head. I felt stretched as my feet barely made contact with the ground as he grabbed my cock and stroked it slowly. He massaged the head with his thumb, rubbing the viscous droplets that leaked out in circles. I found myself calling his name, chanting it like an ecstasy inducing mantra, louder and louder as I drew closer to my orgasm. I strained, thrusting my hips forward, filling his hand with my cock. I wanted more but could barely manage to breathe. I was sure I would die, either from pleasure or frustration. His torturous touch dragged on and on until I imploded and came, shouting his name.

  When he let me go, I collapsed to my knees, breathless and hoarse. He looked down at me with a smirk.

  “You’re mighty pleased with yourself,” I croaked out.

  “Not yet, but it’s a start.”

  My eyes dropped from his smiling face to his bobbing cock. Its slick and shiny girth stood out proudly from his body. Before I could think too deeply about it, I opened my mouth and swallowed as much of him as I could. He looked shocked by the action. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever done this for him without coaxing. He buried his fingers in my hair and threw his head back, filling his lungs with a sharp hiss as I ran my tongue up and down the length of his shaft.

  “Oh, baby, please,” he whimpered.

  Despite being on my knees, I felt powerful. He was putty in my hands...er, in my mouth. Watching him squirm and feeling the muscles in his buttocks and thighs jumping and flexing under my fingertips was a heady intoxication. I kept it up, sucking and licking from base to tip, massaging his balls and playing with the sensitive skin with my fingertips.

  “I’m about to blow,” he grunted, trying to retreat. I grasped his ass and leaned in, shoving his cock farther down my throat. I intensified my game, sucking harder and louder until he spilled his seed in my mouth.

  I turned the water on again, letting the water rinse away the sweat and cum on our skin. I’d barely spit his spunk out before he pulled me into another scorching kiss. It took several tries before we made it out of the bathroom, though our bodies stayed entwined. No matter what I had thought to say to him, it was obvious that he wasn’t in the mood to talk tonight. We were two sticks of dry tinder and every time we made contact, we were set ablaze again. I lost count of how many times we came before collapsing together in bed, exhausted and sated.

  “I can’t get enough of you,” he said against my lips.

  “Good,” I murmured. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do with myself if he ever did. The last thing I remember was being wrapped in a cocoon of warmth and the feeling of his lips on my temples as I drifted off.

  Chapter Six

  Josh

  Ian woke up in the night and stretched slowly. I was instantly awake.

  “What is it?”

  “Can we talk?”

  I cast a glance at the clock, it was late but only a few hours since we fell into bed.

  “You had something on your mind when I came home?”

  He nodded.

  “Shoot.”

  “It’s about your dad. I think you should call Janet and find out what’s going on. And then, regardless of what she says, you should go and visit.”

  “No way,” I said, but I didn’t feel confident about it. I was still running, avoiding the problem instead of facing it. I thought I’d promised myself not to do that anymore.

  “I think the longer you wait the harder it’s going to be to resolve any issues you have, and possibly there won’t be any more chances.” He yawned and curled his smooth, warm body around mine.

  “I know.”

  “I know you know. You’re just angry and hurt. But, if you don’t resolve it, you’ll always be angry and hurt, and he’ll be too dead to care.”

  His words were a little slurred and I could tell he was fighting against sleep but he was making sense. After making love half the night I was in no mood to argue with him. I couldn’t even find the energy to fight against him.

  “Promise me you’ll call her and go see your father,” he said, struggling to keep his eyes open.

  “I won’t make promises I can’t keep.”

  “Promise me you’ll at least call,” he said.

  I grunted but he snaked his hands around my cock and squeezed gently, collapsing any defenses I thought I had against his sweet insistence.

  “Fine.”

  I didn’t say anything else and within a few minutes, he was asleep again.

  He was right of course. The longer I let this thing draw out the worse it would be in the end. I wasn’t the boy I’d been. I was a man now, and I deserved to stand in front of that man and show him that he hadn’t broken me. He made a mistake when he threw me away. Even if it didn’t mean anything to my father in the end, it would mean everything to me.

  Ian shifted in his sleep. His face was bathed in the cool light of the moon. I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer to my body. He threw an arm over my chest and wrapped his legs around mine.

  Going home meant a lot of things to me, above all, it meant days or even weeks without Ian. I was not looking forward to that. I wasn’t sure how I would handle days of dealing with my family without having him to remind me that I was still trustworthy and dependable to somebody. He was the only person in the world who I’d never disappointed simply by being myself. I needed him, and I was pretty sure I’d be lost without him. But I’d rather fill my shorts with fire ants than subject him to my father. He didn’t deserve that. Nobody did. And I couldn’t say that I cared about him at all if I asked him to come with me.

  I knew that if I asked, he would follow me to the ends of the earth. However, I needed to do this on my own. I wanted to face the ugliness of my past on my own. And, I also didn’t want to run the risk of him thinking less of me because of some of the messiness of my past.

  Messiness.

  The word made it all sound almost quaint. The truth is th
at it was a clusterfuck, mostly of my own making. It was life lessons learned the hard way about who to trust and who to love and what those two words really meant. I wasn’t the man I was back then, and I’d never been the man they thought I was. I’d come a long way, but there were still moments when even I wondered if I wasn’t a little fucked up in the head.

  I held Ian and made peace with the fact that this would probably be one of the last nights he would spend in my arms for a while. I slipped out of bed just before the alarm went off and headed down the stairs. Friendly and Shaolin were still curled up together in the laundry room.

  “Lucky bastards,” I grumbled. “Enjoy it while it lasts.”

  I picked up my phone and dialed Janet’s number despite the ungodly hour. She wasn’t the only one who knew how to be inconsiderate of other people’s lives.

  “Hello?” she squeaked through the phone.

  “I guess he’s not dead yet if you found time to sleep,” I said.

  “Josh?”

  “How much time does he have left?”

  “He’s stabilized. He should be released to go home later today,” she yawned.

  “Good, then I don’t have to waste a trip.”

  “No, Josh, we really need you here. I can’t stay with him any longer. I have a family of my own to get back to and Dave is almost completely out of leave time.”

  “Sounds like a personal problem to me. Hire him a nurse. I’ll help cover the costs.”

  “He doesn’t need a nurse, God Bless it! He needs his family.”

  “When did we become family? He disowned me; remember? And remember how you didn’t want me to meet that family you’re rushing back to? ‘Cause I do?”

  “This isn’t about me or the boys, Josh.”

  “Like hell, it's not! You got your happily ever after and I’m happy for you. But you can’t just drop out of the sky and fuck up mine so that you can run back to prince charming while I mop up after your father. “

  “He’s your father too, Josh!” Her shrill screech made me hold the phone away from my ear. “Or did you forget that part?”

  “I wish I could. So, I’m coming, but not because you two assholes deserve my presence. I’m coming because I made a promise to somebody who does. And the quicker I get this bullshit done and over with, the faster I can get back to making him happy.”

  There was a pause as she wrapped her head around what I’d just told her. On the one hand, I knew she was dying to say something to shut me up. On the other hand, she was getting exactly what she wanted originally. Who would be foolish enough to give that up just to have the last word?

  “Josh?”

  “What?”

  “How old is he?”

  I ground my molars and thanked the heavens that she was thousands of miles away instead of standing in my kitchen.

  “Old enough,” I said before killing the line.

  “Do I want to know?” Ian walked into the kitchen, his face still puffy from sleep. He rubbed his eyes and shook the fog from his brain before wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder.

  “Go back to bed if you’re still sleepy,” I said.

  He shook his head.

  “You’re up so I’m up. I don’t like sleeping up there without you.”

  “Me neither.” I stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head. “But it looks like both of us are going to be sleeping alone for a while. I called Janet. I’m going to book my flight after breakfast.”

  He squeezed me tight but didn’t say anything.

  “Look after Shaolin for me?”

  “Can’t you take him with you?”

  “It's a little short notice and I don’t know what the situation is there. I don’t know if there’s room for him or anything.”

  “Okay. I’ll look after him.”

  “Just stay here while I’m gone, okay. You got the backyard here and you can work in peace and quiet.”

  “Hmm.” it wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a no either.

  “I would feel better knowing you were here.”

  “I’m a big boy, Josh. I don’t need you to take care of me.”

  “I know you’re capable, Ian, but I need to take care of you for my own sanity.”

  He looked up at me and searched my face for something I wasn’t sure I could give him.

  “Okay,” he said. “I’ll pack a bag and stay here for a week. Do you think it will take longer than that?”

  “Not if I can help it.”

  He looked hesitant but I knew that was just his nerves talking. I was nervous as well, but we both knew this was the right thing to do.

  I spent the rest of the morning sorting out the details, informing my team about my absence and making sure that my clients knew how to get in contact with me in case of an emergency. Ian helped me pack, folding my socks and underwear into tiny little bundles that were almost too pretty to wear. We only left the house long enough for him to go home, pack a bag, and gather up all the things he would need to work.

  I managed to book a flight for the evening and sent the details to my sister. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was excited but didn’t want to let on.

  “Will you be coming alone or will you bring your partner?”

  “I love him, why would I subject him to you?”

  I could tell that she wanted to be critical, but she held it in. She still needed something from me and couldn’t afford to make me angry at the last minute.

  “I’ll pick you up at the airport,” she said curtly. Neither of us wasted time with goodbyes and simply ended the call.

  “Everything all set?” Ian looked up from his desk. I wanted to stop the time. I loved the way we were. I loved the sight of him sitting by the window, working quietly, and the way his expression changed to reflect the mood of his work. As long as I had this to come home to, going away for a week didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

  “Everything is perfect.”

  He smirked.

  “That good?”

  I nodded. He smiled at my silliness.

  “Should we order dinner before your flight?”

  “I could eat, but I’m not interested in food.”

  He blushed.

  “Be serious.”

  “I am. I would rather spend my last hour at home with you than eating out of cardboard cartons.”

  “We would still be together.”

  “Still.”

  “You act like you’re going off to war.” He got up from his seat and walked over to me, resting his arms on my shoulders. I leaned in and took a deep breath, letting his smell fill my lungs.

  “I am. You just don’t understand.”

  “I understand,” he said softly. “Some days it can feel like a never-ending battle. But remember that the past is the past. Put it to rest so it can’t ruin your future.”

  “I’m not thinking about the past or the future. I’m thinking about right now,” I slipped my fingers under his shirt and stroked his smooth skin.

  “Josh!” he jumped and laughed, genuinely startled.

  “Okay, okay, order something but stay here with me until it’s time to go.” I pulled him into my lap. He didn’t struggle. Neither one of us really wanted this trip to happen, but we both knew it was necessary.

  He was true to his word, ordering chicken wings and then nestling on the sofa with me until it was time to get on the road. I caught a cab to the airport and boarded my flight without any problems. I knew all of my troubles would begin as soon as I touched down.

  Chapter Seven

  Josh

  “Easy, sir.” The nurse helped my father ease from the hospital bed to the wheelchair. He insisted that he could walk on his own, but the hospital had some sort of policy about discharging patients. He had to be wheeled out by a member of the staff. I was a little glad; he didn’t look like he was too steady on his feet.

  We’d been in the same room for exactly one hour and we hadn’t said more than six words to
each other. I don’t know what I’d expected. During the flight, I’d imagined bursting into a hospital room where an obviously weakened and gasping Harold Green would be waiting for me. I’d say something really amazing and he’d have tears in his eyes as he realized just how wrong he’d been for so many years. But before he has the chance to apologize, I turn and leave, getting back on a plane bound for Ian and the rest of our lives together.

  That was the plan.

  What I didn’t expect was a frazzled and pitiful looking Janet to pick me up from the airport. She seemed overwhelmed and pushed to her physical limit. Her normally auburn colored hair was dry and shoved into a bun high on her head. The traces of the makeup she’d probably applied hours ago had settled into the fine lines around her mouth, eyes, and neck. She didn’t just look older, she looked aged. Life, it seemed, had aged her. I almost felt sorry for her.

  When she saw me, I thought she might actually throw her arms around me and kiss me, but she held back. She did seem to be genuinely happy to see me. That caught me off guard.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, instead.

  “We’ll see how long that lasts.”

  She pursed her lips and glared at me but didn’t say anything. We rode back to the house in silence. The city had changed dramatically since I left. It didn’t have that Small Town, USA feel to it any longer. It seemed bigger, more bustling than I remember it. The house, however, was still the same. The same hideous beige siding and brown shutters. The same tacky garden gnomes and pink flamingos in the yard. It wasn’t a home; it was a time capsule.

  I walked into the house feeling a sickening sense of Deja Vu.

  “You bought new furniture,” I said.

  “It’s been more than a decade,” Janet snorted.

  “It was old then, nobody seemed to care.”