Noble Hearts Read online

  It seemed that when the majority were happy to defy a certain rule, all of a sudden it was as though it did not exist, and you would be glared at for having the audacity to bring it up. It just happened that in this scenario Theodore was in the minority. And he felt certain that, were he to awaken the next day to a world where the majority experienced same sex attraction, all of a sudden, the rules against his desires would be conveniently ignored.

  And yet, this morning the children were expected to carry out Bible studies with him? It was difficult to teach the children at all when he was so perturbed. Much less to teach them about a subject he himself did not have much belief in. He half wanted to teach them all about the hypocrisy of the world, about the ways in which people picked and chose what parts of this book they cared about. But he did not. He gave them some tasks that would not require much of his attention and sat down at the main desk, hoping the older children would at least behave. The younger ones were napping in the nursery, fortunately.

  The children were leafing through their Bibles, finding the passages Theodore had asked them to copy. He leafed through his own, seeking anything that made him want to believe. It was surreal to him, that anyone like Edmond, anyone like himself, could force themselves to believe in a text that actively condemned them. It was ridiculous. He did not see how the small comforts faith provided would be worth the agony of self-loathing.

  "I saw you were talking to Lord Thanet," Victor said, looking up from his page.

  Theodore nodded. "Indeed, I was. He is a very important man. I am sure you are all learning from him.

  Victor simply grunted, stood up, and walked toward the window.

  "Now, now, do not disrespect him. You cannot understand the world that he comes from, but perhaps, if you someday hope to join it, you might do well to show him respect and look up to him for clues on how you may become more like him," Theodore explained.

  "He is so dull," Victor said, laying back on the chaise and toying with a pocket knife. "I do not wish to be like him. Not ever."

  "Even if it means becoming an Earl?" Victoria asked. "I, for one, would love to marry an Earl."

  "You would marry such an old bore?" Victor replied with a snort. "I suppose you will sleep well from tolerating his dull conversation."

  "Better than you will sleep knowing that you are a simple member of the lower nobility, at risk of falling from grace and having to work for a living like some kind of a peasant," Victoria replied.

  "You all ought to be reading and writing," Theodore said.

  The children all froze for a moment, seemingly realizing that they were not alone, before most of them turned back to their paper, scribbling more furiously than before.

  "I have finished," Victor said.

  "Then move to the next passage," Theodore replied.

  Victor shook his head. "Why do you seem so terribly bothered by what we say about Lord Thanet?"

  Theodore shook his head. "We are all different. Lord Thanet is a good man, even if he is a bit quiet. And it seems that he is having some personal troubles. Are we not all a touch dull when we are hurt?"

  Victor shrugged.

  Of course, a child could not understand the anguish of the adult world. He had no reason to. To them, all these was just theoretical subjects to joke over. Theodore could hardly take it personally. If anything, it was his job to calmly prepare the children for a world where it was possible for any of them to rise or fall through the ranks, to need to make awkward decisions about marriage and the life ahead of them.

  "If you would like, I can tell you precisely what your options may be in life," he said. "Once you are done copying your passages out."

  "When we are done, may we see if we can talk to Lord Thanet?" Victoria asked, looking slightly too eager, too full of mischief. "To learn of his place in the world, of course."

  "What you mean to say is that you wish to trouble him and see if you can break his composure," Theodore replied.

  Victoria shook her head, a few stray curls waving around. "Not at all, Sir. Whatever would make you say such a thing?"

  Theodore narrowed his eyes at her.

  "Do you not trust us?" Victor asked, attempting to appear as innocent as possible.

  "Not an ounce," Theodore replied flatly.

  For a moment, Theodore waited for them to say something else, but they did not, they returned to their work. He understood them, of course. He too had once been a lively, carefree young boy, thinking only of his next amusement, eyeing the dour and dull adults with suspicion whilst holding the bold and energetic adults aloft as his idols.

  Even today, as an adult, Theodore likes making people like Edmond express some sort of emotion. It just felt so odd, so unnatural to see someone walk around with the face of a marble statue. It felt as though such stern people were baiting him, tempting him to act against them and persuade them to laugh, shout, or weep.

  He knew better than that. Theodore was an adult, after all, a fully-grown man who knew that life was not always as interesting as one wished for it to be. Some people were stern and responsible and to defy this would be to rock the boat of social order, so to speak.

  "We ought to show him how to have fun," Victoria suddenly said with a smirk. "Just a harmless little joke, Mr. Smithe. It would be glorious."

  Theodore shook his head, resisting the urge. "No, we cannot. Lord Thanet is a respectable man and does not need such-"

  "Perhaps we ought to ruin his shirt," Mabel said. "Father is always furious when we stain his good shirts."

  "Of course not!" Theodore exclaimed. "That is not how the children of civilized people behave. Return to your studies immediately."

  "But I-" Victor began, meeting Theodore's cold gaze and looking away.

  "You are all being very disorderly," Theodore replied. "And if we talk any more of harming your parents' guests, I shall ask the governess to punish you."

  Victor seemed to be disappointed as he slumped down into the chaise by the window, practically pouting. These children were hardly spoiled by the standards of wealthy children, but they were not used to not being humored either. Victor shot Theodore a look that suggested Theodore would be in trouble if it were up to Victor.

  "No, he is right," Victoria said, breaking the tension. "We should not seek to harm a guest. A little practical joke would be different, though."

  Theodore was about to praise Victoria for her maturity before that last remark. "Victoria, I expect better of you," he said.

  "Just something which we can all laugh about, which could perhaps be good for him as well," Victoria explained. "Some wordplay, something innocent."

  "I think we ought to persuade him that a mock turtle is a real animal," Victor replied, cheering up a little. "I am sure he would trust us."

  Theodore couldn't help but chuckle under his breath. Victor was right. Edmond would believe them. That was part of what would make it so cruel. It was also more than a little amusing to Theodore. Life was not meant to be serious and respectful and cold all the time. Edmond needed to learn that. The question was whether "allowing the children to bully Edmond" counted as "learning about life", or whether it was just plain cruel.

  Theodore wanted to be the mature one, to tell them to behave. And yet he felt awfully tempted. A little mischief, not even something physical, could not be too bad, could it? And it would be nice to see Edmond grow and learn, relax, laugh a little.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Edmond knew that the children were plotting something. It was a given: children are always plotting something. But he also knew they were plotting something related to him, which was worse. Older children were a blind spot in Edmond's social education. Too young to be held responsible, too old to be kept away at all times, too intelligent to control, too clueless to behave themselves, too weak to resist their demands without appearing to be a monster, too important to ignore.

  And yet there they were, running down the garden, making a beeline for Edmond's seat on the bench, chargi
ng and tumbling like a herd of runaway horses. He braced himself for impact just as they halted right in front of him, grinning like maniacs. Definitely plotting something. He set his book down in his lap and raised an eyebrow at their smiling faces.

  "I thought Mr. Elridge would have told you to let me be," he said bluntly.

  "Daddy doesn't have to keep us on a leash like puppies," Victoria stated with equal bluntness. The defiance in her eyes told Edmond that he would be dealing with stubborn entitlement from her and her sibling for many years to come.

  "He ought to," Edmond snapped back under his breath.

  "I should tell father that you are being rude to us," Victor said.

  Edmond glared. On one hand, the Elridges were socially far beneath him, as an Earl. On the other hand, they were some of the few true friends he had. And yet, would a true friend put their spoiled children before their adult friend's needs? Edmond sighed. He couldn't risk it. "What do you want?" he asked.

  "We wanted to tell you about something we have seen in the news," Victor said. "It is incredibly interesting."

  Edmond nodded, already not believing a word of it.

  "They have found out that mock turtles are a real animal," Victoria said with a beaming smile. "So, we can have actual mock turtle to eat, instead of real turtle."

  Edmond shook his head. "What nonsense is this?"

  The children seemed a little disappointed. "It's not nonsense," Mabel replied. "They are real."

  Victor nodded. "They are like real turtles, but they live deep in the sea."

  "So, they are another species of turtle?" Edmond asked, still suspicious.

  "Yes," Victor said, smiling. "And they live all around the coasts near us, in the deep parts of the seas, of course."

  Edmond was not sure. He felt like the children were saying something ridiculous, and yet, the platypus had been confirmed to be genuine recently, so why not a mock turtle? Many creatures existed in myth that were found to be real. Many creatures had never even been imagined and yet appeared. He felt immensely grateful as he saw Theodore walking down the garden path. An adult. A sane, educated adult who knew all about the American ecosystems. That would do very well.

  "What are you doing here?" Theodore asked in a tone that suggested he was not at all angry with the children. Edmond felt his hopes sink as he realized Theodore would likely not punish the children. Perhaps scold them a little, but it appeared that taking their indiscretions seriously was beyond the reaches of his duties, of his rights, or, indeed, of his pay.

  "The children are attempting to tell me that mock turtles are real," Edmond said, with a half-amused-half-curious smile.

  Theodore shrugged, then nodded. "Indeed, they are."

  "A mock turtle?" Edmond again asked. He was pretty sure they were not a real thing. But he had to believe Theodore. He was the American expert, after all. Even if he was not going to punish the children, surely he would not go along with their infantile shenanigans. It was one thing for Theodore to be a touch immature for his age, a touch foolish and bold, but Edmond could not fathom an adult lying to another adult about a matter which was so meaningless. Edmond nodded. "I shall be sure to read about them, now, please-"

  Before he could finish, Theodore was already ushering the laughing, chattering, frolicking children toward the house with a smile. "Yes, I shall make sure they do not disturb you again." Theodore looked back over his shoulder, almost as though he were about to say something, but he stopped, shook his head, and bowed a little. "I shall see you later, Lord Thanet."

  Edmond could not get engrossed in his book again. By the time he had let the tension leave his neck and shoulders, picked up the book, composed himself, found his page and re-read the last few interrupted lines, he heard someone call for him yet again.

  "Lord Thanet, how wonderful. I thought Your Grace may have already headed into town today and I would not be able to invite you to dinner," Mrs. Elridge said with a cheery voice.

  Edmond looked over his shoulder, seeing both the Elridges approach the bench, and stood up to greet his hosts. "Good afternoon Mr. Elridge, Mrs. Elridge," he said with a polite smile forced onto his lips. "Dinner, you say?"

  "Yes, we are having some people round for dinner and would simply love for Your Grace to meet them, and vice versa," Mr. Elridge said with a smile.

  Dinner. With more guests. More people who he needed to impress with his power and influence and skills as a leader. Three things he did not actually possess. Edmond found himself already running through a long list of possible excuses to not attend. He would rather remain focused on his book.

  "Who shall be here?" Edmond asked Mr. Elridge. "Anyone I know? Or should know?"

  "Well, there shall be Lord Stafford, his brother, Young Master Stafford, and his fiancée, Miss Clarence Morris of the Gallance-Morris Tea Company," Mr. Elridge said. "I trust you know them?"

  "By name alone, only," Edmond replied, already feeling the panic swell in his chest. "I do believe I must- be excused..." He bowed, smile still plastered on his lips, and made his way to his room as swiftly as he could manage whilst being polite.

  It wouldn't be long before dinner. He would need to get dressed in something more appropriate, a little cleaner and fresher.

  The new guests were all noble. All around his own age. All most likely born into the world of nobility, completely prepared for anything a dinner party might throw at them. It sounded like a recipe for disaster. And yet, as soon as he was dressed to greet the Elridges' guests, he grit his teeth and set off downstairs. It would be much easier to just get it over and done with. Perhaps through enough exposure, enough social events, he might become a more sociable person. Or at least adept at managing his own anxiety and confusion in such situations.

  So caught up in his own head, Edmond did not notice Theodore until he walked right into the tutor. Theodore himself seemed to have been distracted by a book he was holding and reading as he walked. Theodore blushed a little and smiled politely. "My apologies, Lord Thanet," he said, stepping aside.

  "What are the children up to, Mr. Smithe?" Edmond asked.

  Theodore shook his head. "Naught. They are simply being children. What is Your Grace up to?"

  Edmond raised an eyebrow.

  "Your Grace appears to be avoiding me," Theodore clarified.

  Edmond could not deny this, but he felt he owed no explanation. At least, no more than he had already given Theodore. Theodore represented temptation, trouble, all things which Edmond needed to steer clear of if he wanted to maintain his image.

  "I see," Theodore said, reading the tension in the air and looking aside slowly. "I suppose I oughtn't have assumed otherwise."

  Theodore began walking away, not once looking back. And Edmond found himself frozen in place, wanting to run after the tutor and apologize, but knowing such actions were not only below his station, but would encourage further indiscretions in the future. There was no harm in offending a mere tutor, whatever his background might be.

  Edmond had been hoping to speak to the Elridges before the guests arrived. That was not to happen. During his brief run-in with Theodore, the guests had already made themselves comfortable in the front room, waiting to adjourn to the dining room when the time was right. There was some hushed conversation taking place behind the door as he approached. But, once the servant had announced him and the greetings and introductions had been made, the talking did not resume.

  They all seemed to be waiting for him to join in on the small talk with his own input. He had no idea what to do in these situations. Anything he said could be controversial.

  He was saved by dinner being announced. Edmond breathed a sigh of relief and joined the men as they almost ceremonially marched into the dining hall, followed by the women. As everyone listened to the menu being read out, Edmond looked about, making sure he was neither under nor over dressed for the party. He seemed to fit in perfectly. But perhaps someone of his station ought to dress more extravagantly in such a situation? He w
as always second guessing himself, but he could not help it.

  The table was silent as mock turtle soup was served. Edmond felt he needed to in some way participate socially. A man of his standing could not afford to be a wallflower.

  "I suppose the soup is made from the local mock turtles?" he asked, unsure what else to raise as conversation.

  The table burst into laughter. He should have known, then and there, that he had been taken for a fool by some children. He should have played along as though it were some grand joke he had come up with on his own. Unfortunately, he was too nervous, nowhere near ready for such a social challenge. He felt his mind doubling down and his mouth following suit before he could stop himself.

  "I thought they had discovered one, right here, in..."

  Laughter erupted from around the table, as they all realized that he was absolutely serious. He couldn't save it by this point. He had committed to acting like a buffoon and now his status was forever ruined. All because of some children and a tutor who did not know how to show respect to a nobleman.

  No, no, he had only himself to blame.

  He had been taken for a fool. He was not sure how he had trusted anyone, much less Theodore and those children. He sighed. As he did, the faces around the table began to lose their smiles. "Now, now," Lord Stafford said with a slight nervous tone. "Don't look so glum. Who told you such nonsense?"

  "Someone I ought not have trusted," Edmond replied with a nervous smile.

  Young Master Stafford scoffed, but was glared down by his brother and Miss Clarence.

  "We all make mistakes, don't we?" Miss Clarence said with a chuckle that suggested she was being kind because it was the right thing, not because she was a kind person. Nothing here would be about caring for Edmond, it would all be about preserving their own reputations. If he had wanted to save his reputation, then he should have done better for himself.